The Time When Your Intentions Are Put On A Test

Its amazing when the Pringles that we bought is actually a rizq that Allah keep for these beautiful creatures that we visited. :)

I was spending the precious time with my family yesterday when suddenly a text notification beep on my cellphone.

"Baby of Madam X passed away..."

That news hit me. I was surprised that the time eventually comes. For we had glimpse of hope that she will recover, just that it may take a long journey before she can be as healthy as other kids of her age.

The wonder of treating newborn and paediatric patients is that they teach you determination to live even if you feel like giving up sometimes. They may not have the understanding of this worldly life as adult are, but their emotions and spirits may lift up your inner heart when it is caged deep down inside.

Imagine if a toddler comes in front of you, smiling cutely. Will you not smile back naturally?
The same occasion when you are drained out of motivation after long hours of working, all that burden and tiredness flew away the moment you see your child at home calling you, "Papa! Mama!"

I may not have kids of my own yet, as for now, maybe. But as a doctor I am, I was given the opportunity to at least taking care of the ill child.

I felt that my start of journey in paediatrics department is really tiring and stressful. Every other day on-calls made me deprived of essential sleep. Also, the disappointments of not knowing how to manage certain conditions. Then, waking up the next morning trying to be positive but your physical says, "Hey give me time to recover all the overworked cells, please!"
At the end i say, "Wait up, just a little bit more."

And so the weekend came. At last, a time for refreshment. Then I realized, I am not in a good state of mind earlier when the tiredness strikes. I need to loosen up a bit. Pondering over the initial strength and passion that I have built all this while. And I'm truly glad with the support system around me - my family, colleagues and mentor.

I pray that every sweat and bitterness that we encounter will be replace with good moments along the way from our Creator.
At the time of weakness, nothing can lift us up except by His Mercy. He Knows. More than we do. Our capabilities are guided by Him. Allah chosen us with specialty that He knows best for us. Accept it with open arms and heart.

In the midst of busy ward works in NICU, I hope that I can find the contentment to say,  'What is there that I can help you, sayang?'
Inshaallah.

Long hours of working is part of the training for doctors. 

"Do not let your difficulties fill you with anxiety; after all, it is only in the darkest night that the star shines more brilliantly."
-Imam Ali bin Abi Talib-