1st call last night.
The more i say "Please, enough for today. I can't go on anymore. Allah, help me."
The more referrals i got. After one another.
Baby born flat, 2 babies. Running from nicu to labor room in a heavy rain at night. And all with SAH, expanding.
Received another referral. Okay, this baby may not withstand CPAP, intubate then.
Inserting uac/uvc in the middle of 3am in the morning.
By 4am, baby not stable, poor perfusion, MAP low. Bolus stat. Not good. Increase inotropes support. Good enough.
By almost 5am, another referral for bradycardia from district hospital. It turns out sleeping baseline heart rate eventually. Thankful not for cpr event.
Good nap for one hour. Then fajr prayer.
6.30am continue with morning bloods.
9am, postcall, but beginning as a 3rdcall on the same day. Rounds in HDU, Conva, ward 16.
1.30pm punched out.
Lunch after last meal at 2pm yesterday.
This is not a story about comparing doctor's life and other profession's life. How can i compare, whilst others may have far way heavier responsibilities than I am?
But this is a story of war. A war within yourself. Either you surrender, or go on till death.
By this time you read my posting here, I may well in deep sleep on bed right now. Hoping no call saying, "Dr Syamim, ada child need to transport to PICU Ipoh today."
p/s: It's a miracle how He help me with the drive to continue.