Monday, September 12, 2016

A Thank You Note



11th September 2016.


If it's not because of what Allah has put me through, I may not be able to write this tonight. All praise to Him for what He bestow upon us. :)

Today marks the end of my 5 years in medical school. With my name started with the letter 'R', I am one of the last candidates to sit for the clinical exam while most of my study buddies have ended their exams a day earlier. Out of 208 candidates, my lucky number that I voted was 194.

Professional examination 3. As the name resembles itself, one can tell that this is the exit exam for all medical graduates. It was the utmost period of intense pressure that I have ever felt in my entire life of being a student! The anxiety within me was like a ship in the wild ocean. Sometimes the fear haunted me like a storm of waves, while at some other time I can feel calm and steady like the two lovebirds from the Titanic movie-standing with arms raised apart while feeling the breeze of the ocean.

Well, I'm not feeling to tell you the details of what sort of questions and situations that I have been through throughout the clinical case part. Because I believe, there's nothing I can do about it that may change the outcome of my result later. My friends and I had put our own level of effort, so to Allah now we rely upon. May we all pass, ameen.. :) The only thing that I wanted to point out here is the values that have taught me a lot.

To say that I am the only one who sacrificed my time and energy; is just not fair. I have my family at home that always pray for my success and gave me the motivations. They always understand why I didn't come back for a weekend or even this year's Eid ul Adha :( . Then, there are my lecturers who did put a lot of effort to teach us. They too have their own family and life to spent on. Nevertheless, they are determined to pass their knowledge to us, the young doctors. And of course, to all of my friends, my study buddies, and my acquaintances; thank you for colouring up my world. You guys did know my ups and downs while being together and yet still accepts me to become a person of my own personality. Thank you! :)

To the juniors who might be reading this, I wish you all the best too for your upcoming Professionals.
Last but not least, to whoever is reading my writing here, please pray for our success to be a good doctor to serve the community. The knowledge that we gain is not for us to get fame or wealth, but it is our responsibility to use the pearls of wisdom to benefit others.

Each one of us has been blessed with our own unique ability and skills. So there's no need for us to  feel intimidate of others. In fact, use the insecurities in ourselves to guide us become better than yesterday.


Okay, that's all for now. Thank you for reading! Let's spread the goodness and positivity always! 



p/s: I love to write what comes to my mind so that I can ponder it later when I need some encouragement

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

A Date to Remember

I am a kind of girl who is very fond of flowers.
And somewhere out there, live someone who knows how crazy my reaction will be towards this little creature.
I can scream and giggles like a kid, only by seeing a picture full of flowers.

One day, on the same date that my mother gave birth to me 24 years ago,  
Someone gave me this..
My heart pounded at the moment my eyes fall on a box full of red roses..
I almost scream full heartedly, but the only expression that was eventually out was a deep silence. Stunned.

So I took care of the roses gently and delicately like a baby. Every morning, I woke up feeling excited to spray the petals with water. Ohh.. the fresh look! And I smiled. :)
Day by day, the roses started to change. No matter how much I water her, she seems not be able to continue her life with it. Her petals which were bright red earlier became dull. Slowly... till the end, it turned black. As if it was a cursed rose. And at that very point, I realised that I can never revive her anymore. Forever.

I guess, my life too will turn out being like those pretty roses. There will come a time, in which I become old. And you will look at me in the same way that I looked at the roses. Nevertheless, I pray that He will bestow upon me a person who can take care of me with pouring of love till the end of my life. 
For our aim will surely be together, eternally, in the Hereafter.. :')
#10th August 2016.


Thank you for the surprise! A symbol of something I believe.. :)


p/s: The roses remains in my care regardless of the dried petals.. 

Monday, July 4, 2016

Salam Lebaran



Assalammualaikum w.b.t

Sementara masih free pagi ni, RNS nak ambil peluang mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya pada semua terutamanya buat keluarga tercinta, saudara-mara dan insan yang nun jauh di sana tapi dekat di hati bersama keluarganya :). Tak lupa juga semua kenalan dari sekolah, UiTM palam dan MSU semuanya, sama ada yang mengenali atau yang pernah bersua.



Dengan ucapan Salam aidilfitri maaf zahir dan batin, semoga berbahagia di samping keluarga tercinta di pagi Syawal nanti ye. Nak tulis panjang-panjang pun tak sempat dah ni.. ni pun curi-curi sementara free lepas subuh :P Nanti dengar la suara mama ajak pergi shopping barang dapur untuk raya. Tahu je lah kan, sorang anak perempuan. 

Tahun ni tak plan nak bergaya sakan sebab I know my raya this year tak kan sempat nak gathering dengan kawan-kawan sekolah seperti tahun lepas. Sebabnya ada Exam Professional 3 tak lama lagi.. Haaa yang tu yang takut tu.. 
Doakan ya!


Okay bye! ^_<






p/s: Thank you sooo much for the gift. :))

No matter how small or big it is in the eye of other people, it will remain quite special in the heart.


Thursday, May 5, 2016

Motivasi Dari Aku, Untuk Aku yang Bangkit dari Kegagalan






Dear diary,

Sekali lagi aku login E-klas. Betulkah semalam apa yang aku nampak? Atau sekadar ilusi disebabkan sejarah hitam yang lalu? Tak, bukan. Memang benar. Realiti, Azureen. 

'Rotation 2, Medicine, Grade: F. Description: FAIL.'

Allah.. seakan-akan tak percaya pun ada. Perasaan redha pun ada. Bercampur-baur menjadi satu. Aku terkedu. Tak tahu reaksi mana harus aku keluarkan. Yang aku mampu, hanya terdiam. Tiba-tiba memori semalam ligat bermain-main dalam fikiranku, tanpa aku mampu halang. Suara orang-orang sekelilingku ibarat bunyi bising yang sekadar menjadi latar belakang suasana ketika itu.

Pada masa itu, peliknya air mataku tidak tumpah serta-merta. Bergenang pun tidak. Mungkin sebab aku sudah dapat mengagak. Ya, peperiksaan klinikal kali itu memang berlainan sungguh rasanya. Seolah-olah petanda supaya aku bersiap-sedia. Rupa-rupanya apa yang aku rasa dahulu, sumber untuk aku lebih kuat hari ini.

Beruntung aku sebenarnya. Dapat merasa bila di atas. Juga dapat merasa peritnya jatuh ke bawah. Sebab dari pengalaman kedua-duanya itu, aku belajar. Sedih? Sakit? Aku manusia biasa. Kalau aku tak mengaku yang aku rasa sedih dan malu, mungkin aku ini robot agaknya. Melihat kawan-kawan lain lulus dengan cemerlang, sedang aku, tersadung di saat hampir ke garisan penamat. Tapi jauh di sudut hati kecilku, aku bersyukur. Sangat. Allah izinkan aku untuk percaya pada hikmah yang Dia berikan. Mungkin sekarang, pengetahuanku masih samar. Tapi aku yakin, suatu hari nanti aku akan nampak dengan jelas. Yakin, Azureen. Dengan iman.

Kata dia, "Ada battle yang lebih besar, Reen." Depan dia memang aku tak mampu bertahan. Tumpah juga air mata. Donut Dunkin berupa smiley :) aku pandang umpama :(. 

Doa yang aku tak pernah tinggal. Semoga Allah berkatkan ilmu yang Dia ajarkan selama ini. In that way, I hope He chooses me to be in the road yang aku boleh memanfaatkan ilmuku ke arah jalan yang Dia redhai. There must be a reason Allah has granted my prayer to further medicine one day ago. And now that I'm in this line, takkan aku nak menyerah macam tu je?

Orang yang beriman akan merasa gembira bila ditimpa susah atau senang. Sebab dia tahu, segalanya datang daripada Allah. Maka semua itu akan baik-baik saja. Sabarlah ya Azureen.. It's a sign you should work harder and sincere. 

Terngiang-ngiang pesan pensyarah aku, "Sometimes, there are things that you cannot control. Even if you work hard, you need luck." Dan aku rasa, luck itu kita perlu minta daripada Dia Yang Maha Mendengar, Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang.

A failure does not means you will fail forever. And it does not also mean you are not good enough. Tests are meant to build us. Not downgrade us. 
Jadi, bangun Azureen! Jangan pernah mengalah. Terus langkah walau kau harus mengengsot sekalipun!

We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change.
-Yasmin Mogahed

Andai kisah aku mampu mengajar, sebarkanlah.. Aku tidak lagi malu untuk mengaku yang aku pernah buat silap. In fact, siapa yang sempurna? Tak ada, bukan? Peace.


Post-end of posting surgery clinical exam. Tak mau sedih-sedih. Jom makan! ^_^



p/s: Ingat lagi kisah Raja Azureen dahulu? Klik sini untuk cerita awal: Reflecting memories of 3rd year .


Thursday, April 21, 2016

Entri Penghargaan

Assalammualaikum wbt..



Khas buat semua pembaca setia dan sesiapa sahaja yang pernah membaca penulisan-penulisan RNS di laman blog ni, terima kasih ya! Walaupun sejak akhir-akhir ini RNS jarang meluangkan masa untuk menulis entri-entri baru, RNS sentiasa jenguk ruangan comments. Comments anda sangatlah RNS hargai! Ada juga yang bagi pembakar semangat untuk RNS terus menulis. Silakan untuk share mana-mana post RNS selagi mana ia mendatangkan manfaat untuk semua. Memang itu harapan RNS dari awal penulisan blog TGS ni. :) 

Inshaallah.. bila ada kelapangan masa nanti, RNS akan berkongsi cerita lagi ya. Buat masa sekarang, RNS dan rakan-rakan seperjuangan akan menghadapi peperiksaan akhir dalam masa lebih kurang 3 bulan lagi. Doakan kejayaan kami semua untuk berkhidmat pada masa hadapan ya! Amin. 

Sekian dahulu entri pendek kali ni. Tata! ^_<

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Kaki Anugerah yang Perlu Dijaga - Converse shoes




Assalammualaikum w.b.t and hello!


I'll tell you about the owner of this image. Read further okay! ^_<

So it seems that I did not manage to post an entry last month (target RNS sekurang-kurangnya satu entri setiap bulan, baru la tak berhabuk blog TGS ni kan :p) But its okay.. RNS baru saja habis posting perubatan a few weeks ago. (Posting perubatan sangatlah sibuk, terutamanya bila ditempatkan di Hospital Sungai Buloh) Sekarang, dah masuk minggu ke-3 RNS berposting di bahagian pembedahan Hospital Klang. Jadi, boleh kata ada lah masa sikit untuk luangkan menulis kat sini.

As I am currently in surgical department, I will definitely come across cases that are related to disease that involves our precious leg. Kaki kita anugerah yang tak ternilai daripada Tuhan bukan? Cuba bayangkan satu hari nanti kita bangun daripada tidur, tiba-tiba kita tak dapat nak merasa ke dua-dua belah kaki disebabkan lumpuh. Ya Allah... semestinya saat tu akan ada peraasaan takut dan cemas! We should be thankful to Allah for creating us with the upmost perfect creation in this world! 

Therefore, we are the one who is responsible to take care of our own body. To stay as healthy as possible..
To pretty girls and ladies out there including me.. Yes, us! The choice of our footwear is very important! Cuba elak seboleh-bolehnya daripada memakai kasut bertumit tinggi. Especially in the occasion yang memerlukan kita untuk berjalan atau berdiri lama.

Bad effect of high heels to our posture and foot

So.. nak pakai kasut apa lepas ni? I choose sneakers! Walaupun ada pelbagai jenis kasut flat yang lain, but hey, sneakers for girls are not bad at all! Salah satu favourite brand yang simple, yet stylish is Converse shoes. Kasut converse ni boleh dikenakan dengan pelbagai gaya mengikut personaliti masing-masing. *kalau nak nampak berdarah muda selalu, kasut ni sangat sesuai. Come, let me show you a few pictures.  :) 

Contoh paling senang yang comes to my mind is kak Fynn Jamal. Thank you kak Fynn sebab personally bagi keizinan RNS untuk share your pictures here! :))



Kak Fynn Jamal-semua tahu she loves her pair of sneakers. She looks confidence in her own style with all-black outfit that matches with her sneakers.


Look how cute they both are! *ever dream of wearing the same sneakers with your other half? :'))


Okay.. maybe your kids too in future :))

Gadis-gadis yang gemar mengenakan abaya, tetap boleh tampil sopan. Not too boyish, yet still maintain that feminine look. Simple kan? Pada masa yang sama, kita pun akan rasa selesa dan senang untuk melangkah. 


Of course, there's other way to look different with your own personal preference. Kalau teringin tu, boleh la explore lagi jenis Converse shoes ikut citarasa sendiri kat sini. Sambil-sambil tu, boleh la shopping barang kat zalora kan.. :)))

One of my favourite style - maxi dress with converse shoes. :)


So, what do you say? Kalau ada buah fikiran, boleh la kita sama-sama kongsi ye! Thank you for reading this entry :D Setakat ni dulu buat kali ni. Jumpa lagi bye!





p/s: Jangan tak tahu, ada orang yang berkenan with girls in sneakers. So, korang suka yang mana? ^_<















Friday, January 1, 2016

Starts of something new 2016



Assalammualaikum wbt.


Hello! I woke up this morning and realized, oh its already 2016! So I decided to reflect and recap what has happened in 2015.

After subuh prayer and a small *conversation with someone, i took my next steps to freshen up, a bit of cleaning, and breakfast. While I was having 'kaya bread' and a mug of hot chocolate, i turned the pages of my diary. I read everything from the beginning of 2015 until the end. My expression was like ... hurmm.. uh.. ohhh.. hahaha ^_^ ... aaaa T_T .. You know, the feeling when you read all sorts of happenings in your life through out the past year. There are happiness, funny moments, excited, and all the sadness that almost forgotten. But because once upon a time, you wrote it there, and suddenly you remember what you have gone through. It's just amazing. :)

What can I conclude from 2015, "Many things have changed without we expected it to be in the beginning." Yeah. Everyone grows, everyone gone through phases in their life, and from there, it's what has made us change into someone. So am I getting better or worse? Only we ourselves can truly answer that.

At first i thought my 2015 was filled with bad memories. But when i flipped through the pages, waa.. there's actually more happy and sweet moments. So, this proves that when we are facing with calamities in our life, we tend to focus more on the problems. That's what made us thrown into depression. Somehow, we often forget that every difficulties is just temporary.

After all, I learnt a lot. Like seriously a lot! I learned how to handle my emotion on such circumstances when you feel like hopeless. Alhamdulillah, may Allah protect us from going astray.

As of today, I want to make a change. I choose to be happy as much as possible. That's what life is. It's about what we choose no matter what happens. I will try not to hold on something too tight nor too loose. Because if I hold it so tightly, and when it suddenly snaps, I'll be forced to repel backward and it'll make harder for me to find my way back to the front. (It's like when you try to stretch a rubber band so forcefully, and when it snaps, your hands will feel the pain.) On the other hand, if I hold on something so loosely, then it means I'm weak and I don't even care. So, let's just be neutral. We humans cannot control everything in this life. It's with the help of Allah. :)

The only thing that I can promise is that I'll never stop praying. Allah know's best. Let's hope for the best ending! :)))


#MemoriesOf2015

31st Jan - The dress

8th Feb - The victory!

15th Feb - Terduduk

20th Feb - Simple tapi dalam kelas tersendiri

1st Mac - Basikal

25th Apr - "One view i like to see for a long time"

7th May - 1st meeting

31st May - Food festival

6th Jun - I brought back my first medal!

10th July - 2nd meeting

10th Sept - Heartbreak

13th Oct - The PE

31st Dec - Hope


Biar berlalu tahun yang penuh memori,
beri pula laluan untuk tahun baru menjengah ke mari.
Langkah demi langkah, sama-sama kita tempuhi,
Inshaallah kita doa 
moga akhirnya
sama-sama sampai ke destinasi
dengan izin Ilahi. 
:)


Selamat datang 2016!

Ultimate goal to achieve this year! 




Thursday, October 29, 2015

Nekad





Selagi bergelar hamba, pasti akan ada cacat celanya.
Kalau ingin cari kesempurnaan, kita hanya akan jumpa pada sifat Allah.

Apa yang aku minta sekarang ini, agar Allah pertemukan seseorang yang boleh menjadi pelengkap bagi kelemahan diriku. Dan aku juga menjadi pelengkap bagi 
kelemahan dirinya.

Tak perlu aku kejar sesuatu yang belum pasti milikku, kerana aku pasti akan kecewa andai aku tidak dapat apa yang aku harapkan.

Insecurities will always remain. Instead, you will only feel secure when you are whole heartedly put your trust in Allah. Choose Him over something else in this world. No compromise! And He will definitely choose something beautiful for you, more than you can ever imagine. If not in this world, surely it will be in the Akhirah.

I made a mistake. And its Allah who brings me back to the right path. Kadang ada sesuatu yang tak terucap dengan kata, tetapi bisa tergambar melalui mata yang melihat, dan hati yang merasa.

Hanya Tuhan yang tahu.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Feeling thankful


There are times in which you feel deeply in vain BUT the moment tears fall out from your eyes while praying to Allah, all the miserables you feel will be faded away. Because you know, Allah will always be there besides you. You dont even want anyone else to hear you except your own Maker. In fact, He is Most closer than your vein. 
Everything will be fine.. Inshaallah. :)

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Awal Muharam, a new year


Assalammualaikum wbt..


It's not as easy as I imagined being a final year medical student. To be able to stay in a highly motivated spirit is one of the challenges i need to face. After all, its not always a sunshine in this life. Sometimes you will have to go through the rainy days and storms anyway.

And now i can feel it. This early 2 weeks I have been battling to regain my memory of my clinical knowledge after almost a 2 months school break. It's quite frustating though when you failed to recall what you have learned all this while. But, the worst part is that when you dont know what you have forgotten.

Today, my orthopaedic lecturer asked me, "Syamim, do you still study hard like you used to? I hope you can do better this year, okay." I stumbled upon that statement. Did my teacher sensed I have been quiet during his class? Or did he noticed that I am less able to give response during the question and answer session? Maybe. When i came to look at it, damn its true... I know myself.

Sometimes you have to contemplate yourself in order for you to wake up from your dreamy fairytales. It's the reality that you have to deal with. In a year, Inshaallah I will graduate and become a doctor (*do pray for me). I started thinking that if I am not able to train myself to be competent now, then how am I able to carry the responsibility in the future? As I am near to graduation, the less am I thinking about the title "DR" that will soon become my initials. Trust me, it is not easy to accept that soon I will be held responsbility in dealing with a person's life. It's scary. Seriously. So it's no more about fame that you will become a doctor. It's about how brave, strong and passionate you are to be in this field. There'a a saying, with power comes a great test isn't it?

Today marks the new year in Muslim calendar. And so do i need to renew my intention in seeking the knowledge. It's for the sake of Allah. He is the One that blessed me with the ability to be who I am today. Slowly, I will try my best to correct myself. Find the flaws that I have, and ask Allah to help guide me to be a better person. 
Inshaallah. I will pray for you too as well. Together. I believe that you know what you desire most, right? So let's pray together that Allah will grant what's best for us. Let's not give up till the end. Never stop believing. When you fall down, get up and try again. Someday you will find what you're searching for. Inshaallah.. Amin. :)

 This song.. The words.



p/s:Allah will give the hardest battle to His strongest soldiers. So believe in yourself, remember? :')