It's not as easy as I imagined being a final year medical student. To be able to stay in a highly motivated spirit is one of the challenges i need to face. After all, its not always a sunshine in this life. Sometimes you will have to go through the rainy days and storms anyway.
And now i can feel it. This early 2 weeks I have been battling to regain my memory of my clinical knowledge after almost a 2 months school break. It's quite frustating though when you failed to recall what you have learned all this while. But, the worst part is that when you dont know what you have forgotten.
Today, my orthopaedic lecturer asked me, "Syamim, do you still study hard like you used to? I hope you can do better this year, okay." I stumbled upon that statement. Did my teacher sensed I have been quiet during his class? Or did he noticed that I am less able to give response during the question and answer session? Maybe. When i came to look at it, damn its true... I know myself.
Sometimes you have to contemplate yourself in order for you to wake up from your dreamy fairytales. It's the reality that you have to deal with. In a year, Inshaallah I will graduate and become a doctor (*do pray for me). I started thinking that if I am not able to train myself to be competent now, then how am I able to carry the responsibility in the future? As I am near to graduation, the less am I thinking about the title "DR" that will soon become my initials. Trust me, it is not easy to accept that soon I will be held responsbility in dealing with a person's life. It's scary. Seriously. So it's no more about fame that you will become a doctor. It's about how brave, strong and passionate you are to be in this field. There'a a saying, with power comes a great test isn't it?
Today marks the new year in Muslim calendar. And so do i need to renew my intention in seeking the knowledge. It's for the sake of Allah. He is the One that blessed me with the ability to be who I am today. Slowly, I will try my best to correct myself. Find the flaws that I have, and ask Allah to help guide me to be a better person.
Inshaallah. I will pray for you too as well. Together. I believe that you know what you desire most, right? So let's pray together that Allah will grant what's best for us. Let's not give up till the end. Never stop believing. When you fall down, get up and try again. Someday you will find what you're searching for. Inshaallah.. Amin. :)
This song.. The words.
p/s:Allah will give the hardest battle to His strongest soldiers. So believe in yourself, remember? :')